Meggin’s Current Articles

Making Decisions and Changing Your Life – Making a Significant Or a Subtle Change For the Better

4th May, 2010 - Posted by Meggin - No Comments

Pearl S. Buck once said,

“Once the “what” is decided, the “how” always follows. We must not make the “how” an excuse for not facing and accepting the “what.”

I really like that quote. So often, we start worrying about HOW something will get done and get all tangled up in that and we haven’t really thought through WHAT needs to happen – nor made a decision even if we have identified the what. The idea is that you not only need to determine the WHAT, but then move to the decision part

Before we take a look at this idea of taking action, let’s talk about the consequences of not determining and deciding which doors need to be closed and I have 3 excellent quotes for you, all of which convey the same general sentiment:

Not to decide is to decide. – Harvey Cox

In not making the decision, you’ve made one. Not doing something is the same as doing it. – Ivan Bloch

When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice. ~William James

Many times, our lives are not going along the way we sort of imagined that they would or the way that we would like them to. Certainly, there are multiple reasons why this might be true. We need to look at one possibility, which is that we have NOT made some of the decisions that we needed to. We may have allowed our indecision to make the decision of not making any changes. In essence, we have defaulted – on our life. I’m kind of tough today, aren’t I? It’s only because I love you, though!

Let’s go ahead and look at making the decisions and getting some forward momentum.

Now I’m going to start with the easy example first. Let’s say you have figured out that you really want WHAT you eat for lunch to be different in the future. Now, you decide that indeed, you are closing the door on your old lunch foods

yogurt at your desk,

peanut butter and jelly sandwich 5 days a week,

a huge hamburger and fries delivered to your desk each day, or

Ramen Noodles from the microwave). Folks…I was a professor and I know how Ramen Noodles are a staple for many people…plus I shop at Costco and watch the flats of them being conveyed out of the store.

Anyway…so you’ve made a decision that you are closing the door on old lunch foods. Since you want to continue to eat lunch, NOW you need the how. Ask yourself, “How will I eat lunch if I don’t eat yogurt/PB & J/hamburger/noodles – whatever your previous food item was?” You can answer that can’t you? Lots of options now flood your mind about what you could do instead and HOW.

Let’s take a bit more difficult example, knowing that our brains were set up to seek and formulate solutions. Here is how to tap into that strength related to this article’s topic:

Identify the WHAT that needs to disappear or otherwise change.

Decide to make the WHAT disappear or otherwise change.

Then, let your brain generate the HOW’s.

For example, “I am deciding to close the door on a client that drives me nuts…

Thus, I will call him tomorrow and give him the name of several of my competitors where he might be access similar services.”

Or

“I am deciding to close the door on my boss’s mean-spirited and sarcastic remarks to me and my colleagues.

Thus, I will make an appointment to tell her assertively how these comments make me feel demoralized and to ask that she find other ways to give me feedback.”

Or

“I am deciding to close the door to a computer that is old, unwieldy, and slow.

Thus, I will check Consumer Reports for the recommendations for computers and will shop for and purchase a new computer by the end of next month.”

Is it easy to make these decisions? It isn’t. However, indecision is worse. Gordon Graham reflects that,

Decision is a sharp knife that cuts clean and straight; indecision, a dull one that hacks and tears and leaves ragged edges behind it.

Give decision a go…because “The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” ~Flora Whittemore

And recently, we explored the idea of “open” and “closed” doors as part of our Staying Positive Society Sunday sessions. You are welcome to check those sessions out by going to:

** http://stayingpositiveinafreakedoutworld.com/Materials.php

We have a positive group in the Staying Positive Society and would love to have you join us.

(c) 2010 Meggin McIntosh, Ph.D. | The Ph.D. of Productivity(tm)